Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Happenings...

Investiture last friday, so am a rover now (: just after one night, so much seems to have changed.. for the better?

SA community hospital visit for Founder's day on saturday, quite fun finding this old lady who was the prim and proper convent school kind heh. Was so tired though, esp at cell, but then again we only had about an hour of sleep at KH's house.. Was very generous of him to bring us home though, letting the girls hog the bed and sofa.

Sunday consisted of waking up with a slightly swollen eye, and then baptism class followed by going shopping alone and spending an OBSCENE amount of money. -will not spend anymore!-

This week was generally uneventful.. i mean how can you beat visiting a ww2 site at night, right? Just work and home again apart from the seamanship meeting on tuesday..

Results out tmr.. and part of me wants them, and another part doesnt. somehow i wish i cld stay in this.. limbo of sorts.. oh well we'll see how it goes.. TOMORROW.

weiwei (: at 10:37 PM

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

CLICK ON "FEBUARY 2007" to read new ones!!

weiwei (: at 8:38 AM

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

SATs results

weiwei (: at 8:00 PM

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HINTING

Silly officers who just keep hinting that they want this done or that done..

While victim is rushing the name tents for the history unit like mad, come along and start asking abt steph and the work she was doing before she took leave.. that's step 1

step 2, inquire about her whereabouts and make little comments about how her work was due yesterday and how important it is.. at this point, your victim is supposed to be feeling guilty/sorry for you and might offer to take over the work

If he/she does not, proceed to step 3. retreat, and return in 10 minutes sounding a little more frantic (so bloody annoyingly so), and basically reiterate the same stuff you said earlier, making sure to mention that even if the original person carried on tomorrow it would be, unfortunately, too late.

If all else fails, look for some admin lackey who will delegate the job onto your victim who, in this case, cannot refuse because the lackey is even more infuriating and such an ass that afore mentioned victim will acquiesce to your request just to get rid of her.

There, mission accomplished, you've snared a unsuspecting MARIA to do your job for you.

weiwei (: at 6:13 PM

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

thanks

weiwei (: at 12:00 AM

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Monday, February 12, 2007

thoughts and decisions

I think sometimes the reason why I keep re-visiting the past stems from a fear of the future, it's uncertainties and what unpleasant things it might bring. Afraid that it won't measure up to what I'm used to, or even my expectations. Then again, as steph said, don't compare.. true.. cos that way it won't be hard to be happy since there's really no barrier.

Ahh well another thing.. I guess I just messed things up, but hey, at least I don't have to see whoever so I'll just leave it alone as meimei says and well it'll be fine. I don't even know what I really want which just makes it all the worse, and I guess I really wish I could just be happy with the way things are now and content with my life. I don't want to always be wishing for more, and I guess I really want to be able to be filled with God such that I don't need other stuff, or at least that other stuff won't be uppermost on my mind.

I pray that I will really committ to God this year, that cell and church and basically just knowing Him more will be my priority, that my thoughts, actions and words will really be pleasing to Him, and that really my motivation will be what He wants. I know that it will be hard to give up stuff for cell and church, especially when I want to be involved in so much- even while praying about it on the bus I was having reservations about whether I would be able to do it, but I trust that He will see me through it.

Thank God, too, that at long last I'm finally accepting reality (: guess this is as good a time as any so I'm really glad. I won't presume too much though, and make the mistake I've made so many times before and just jump in thinking all is well when I'm honestly just deluding myself. It feels different this time though.. but I also know that steph having her doubts about how alright I am is justified.. I've just reverted too many times before for her and myself to be absolutely sure.

Let me let go, oh Lord.

weiwei (: at 6:15 AM

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Friday, February 09, 2007

.

Was just reliving my memories of old SAJC, and again I find myself thinking it was so much better when we were there. Dingy though it was, and not exactly comfortable, it’s nooks and crannies hold many memories heh. Especially the reading room, where Jes and I spent many an enjoyable day masquerading as hardworking students, all the while taking in the “view” laid out before us- in the form of two people who happened to be in the same class. Haha oh dear such perverts we were (:

Anyhow, I’m really afraid about my results.. I’ve never really had something as important as this hinge on one little slip of paper, and this time round, I’ve really no back-up plan. Silly circumstances that happened just before my A’s came around, and I’m really not sure whether I was badly affected. Seeing how people were when they got their O results today.. I wonder how it’ll be like for me. I didn’t get the chance to open my own O result slip, and I was watching my younger classmates freak out around me two years back.. This time it’s really my turn. I’m undeniably afraid.

weiwei (: at 1:36 AM

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Dance

Colours swirl,

golden hems twirl,

synchronised in time,

frozen like a scene from a

brocade tapestry.

Rich, colourful, sheer beauty.

Feet stamp,

hands clap,

to the endless music of the drums,

beating out a rhythm of joy.

Figures dancing with utter abandon.

Skirts flaring out like so many brilliant pinwheels.

Leap, and touch the sky.

Reach, and laugh, smile.

Lose yourself in dance, and touch your heart in the music.

Enjoy.



~Don't know why.. just felt like revisiting my old stuff..

weiwei (: at 1:54 AM

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Split

Isn't it sad how friends just vanish from your life? They just slowly disappear, as if covered by mist or something, til they're not even there any longer.

I used to ask mummy why she had so few friends, and now I understand - it really is all that easy to lose someone, and vice versa. Hell, it's even easy to lose your family, if you're so caught up with other stuff that all you do is sleep when you get home.

Time after time it happens, and not only to me, but to others who tell me their stories, others who share the agony.. sometimes it really doesn't hurt all that much, and you wonder whether you really ever cherished that someone, or whether it was a relationship of convenience birthed by close proximity. Other times you just find yourself not talking, and realise hey, so-and-so really doesn't mean all that much to me, and I'm sure it's mutual.

Another question, is it true that closeness breeds contempt? I'd like to believe not, but then how does one explain why everyone wants to talk to the new guy, we all rush to introduce ourselves and be friendly, neglecting those who used to be new, and sometimes disregarding them completely.

I sound really mopey and negative writing this, it's not even very moving or thought-provoking, but i suppose it's something that just happens. Cynicism is not always good, i guess.

One by one, they go their seperate ways.

weiwei (: at 1:43 AM

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barriers

Why is it that I can't seem to get through? There's always this.. formality, this.. reticence. I don't want to seem an idiot for wanting it any different, but I don't want to stay this distant either. BAH.

on another note.. feeling slightly unwell, i dont even feel like going dancing anymore tonight.. i just want to sleep.

lightheaded, fainthearted, weakminded, that's me.

weiwei (: at 1:39 AM

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Monday, February 05, 2007

st john's escapade

Back from scary st john's island.. powerboat rides were immense fun, love the feeling (: except when the sea spray or WATER sloshes all over you and everything is wet. everything. other than that, drama on the high seas with both boats being out of fuel together and being towed back to the jetty.. I heard about the head-on collision and running aground..

having a terrible headache now ): anyway was the maria, albeit an unexperienced one who couldn't sweep the scout van nor wash dishes without saying how the soap would spoil my hands heh. The camaraderie with the rest of the AIs is something to cherish, but it will pass, i'm sure. Most things do, given enough time.

Sleepless night again, even less sleep than VSC and gangshow, i'm getting good at this no sleep thing haha.. steph was right when she said ventures does this to you.

did colours, my first time (: and i was the runner haha so the night before during my watch i kept shouting at the sea while steph and wh piped. here's a description of how i looked like, courtesy of dw:
"she looked v sad, then kept glancing at the watch. then when it's almost time she'll keep looking at the watch"
haha anyway it was nerve-wracking, seriously.. shouting in front of so many people and never having done it before.. oh they woke the people up by piping wakey wakey in the morning and dw and ch just slept the whole way through til wh and steph stood right in front of their bed and piped like mad. haha only then did he stir.

my hair's still tangled from the salt water grr!

i want to be a waterbaby.

weiwei (: at 1:30 AM

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