Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Downward Spiral

Inadequacies. Perhaps I'd never really bothered, perhaps it was complacency brought about by a false sense of superiority, but it's all too painfully clear now how lacking it was- in depth, in scope, in language even. Sloppy and self-indulgent attempts, tragic pieces detailing my minute setbacks and insignificant concerns. Even more lucid now, the fact that those concerns weren't neccesarily those of any consequence, but often for some tiny misdemeanour of another, of my imagined lack of something. Again, how ironically so, that this rant is, in itself, self-centred.

Progress is supposed to mean an improvement, a movement forward, isn't it? Instead, why do I feel like I'm flying straight down?

weiwei (: at 9:45 PM

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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

solitude

sounds of merriment- my
closed door
bars the way.
plugged in, hollow carnival music to
drown it out.
long, yet remain stubborn.
regret, yet stay put.
rouse and rabble,
chorus and cheer,
in the thick of things.
still- as a few heartbeats ago-
my closed door shuts
it
all
out.

why, then, do i still hear it?

weiwei (: at 6:51 AM

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Friday, August 10, 2007

Second time around

This is my second attempt, why does it seem even harder than the first? Why does it seem to be plagued by even more miscommunication than the first? You'd have thought I'd have learnt by now.

Feeling slightly bogged down, what with new school, subjects to get used to, and the increasingly tighter time frame. Not much time to sort my mind out. Everything's just in a CLUMP, not nice little pockets. I want a waffle brain!

I hope they aren't angry with us, especially he seems to be, quite often. I don't think we were in the wrong, BUT since we don't really have irrevocable proof that we're right, I don't think they'd be happy if we insisted the mistake was their's, either.

Hope everything works out soon, we three'll get through this.

Dear Lord, we committ this event into your hands, may all go smoothly, by your grace. Help us to have clear minds and calm hearts as we go about organising it and dealing with our subcomms, help us to see where they're coming from, and to always be patient. Help us also to, in the midst of our new workloads, and this, always seek solace and wisdom from you. In Jesus' sweet name I pray, Amen.

weiwei (: at 1:29 AM

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