Sunday, December 17, 2006
approaching depression?
Was thinking about smth yesterday.. what if I get really bored in jan cos my flood of activities suddenly ends? ohwell. Already thinking of going for intermediate1 once I'm done with beginners for salsa.. one thing to look forward to! (:Right now, HK trip is next week! Shopping whee!
Peace Baton project just over, and I've caught a cold.. Not sure whether it was from Zy or from getting caught in the rain heh. Feeling rather under the weather now, sneezing la mad and got a streppy throat.. grr. I think doing projects, including helping out, is pretty fun.. Was trying to find a reason why they were fun yesterday, but couldn't come up with anything..
weiwei (: at 7:19 PM
Friday, December 15, 2006
about turn.
I so feel like railing at you, I don't understand you, then again you don't understand yourself.. I wish it were really that simple, that one phrase could hold all the meaning a silence can, that an explanation would be as fulfilling as I always hope it would be.I don't think I've admitted to myself how much I value your conversation, your approval, your presence. Neither have I fully enjoyed the thought of why that might be so, it's always just been cut short, left hanging.
Possibilities that were, may or may not still be, I leave you in your own stubborn reverie, with nothing to break it.
weiwei (: at 8:35 AM
busybusybusy
December is half gone before I know it! General outline of my programme thus far... 2/3-proj rigel on ubin (my very first camp thing), started work on the 4th, and prom on the 5th, stayed over at the hotel and then seamanship at sisters' island on the 6/7.. then 8/9/10 cell retreat, and work again on the 11th, cambodia on the 12/13/14/15.. back to work this afternoon! HK trip briefing tmr and peace baton on sunday! Oh forgot to mention salsa lessons! oh but i think i did, in the previous post.. another thing to look forward to, the HK trip next week!And so.. in the midst of all this mess, I think the month has really swept by, not without time for some reflection and lessons though.. especially during cell retreat. I felt really close to God then and I pray its not one of those on-fire-for-a-week things.. I really wanted to just be quiet and spend time talking to God, and I honestly have not felt that way before, for all the times I wanted to..Another thing I learnt is just to let God be in control, like really. Just give it all up to Him and He will really take it from you, and His plans are truly for your good. I know I can say this here, but hopefully I will be able to as well when faced with greater matters that really mean alot to me.
Something else I've learnt is to identify the places where I went wrong during the past few months, the steps I should have taken but didnt, the things I should have ensured but that slipped my mind, the precautions and things I should have taken note of, the speed I went, how much I gave.. all these things are clear to me now, and the next course of action as well.. There's really only one way to go and I believe I'm firmly on the way now-be still and know that He is LORD. I realise the truth in the importance of doing everything centred on God, keeping Him your priority at all times and having Him be your lover (: heh He should really have all your heart!
True Princesses-body, spirit, heart-set apart!
weiwei (: at 12:36 AM